finally woke up after a long 12hours slept. feel so restless and got abit of headache. cause i think i slept too much le. haiiss. i think i didn't wanted to wake up early cause my brain will start to think about unhappy stuff. haiiss. but maybe no matter how i allow myself to not get sober, i will still feel so troubled. cause yesterday, i left home at around 8plus to meet ling, sl, and darren. but cause ling need to pei sl go bugis do something first so i got to wait for them for quite awhile before we can meet up. then ling ask me to call darren to come meet me first so that i won't rot alone. at that time earlier on darren also got ask guan hua to come also. but cause she didn't really wanted to go paris park so in the end she say she maybe coming only. so i told them guan hua say maybe coming only then they all say okay lo. but 2minute later darren suddenly say he not coming le and apologise. at that time i suddenly feel so shagg and sad. cause is like i'm already outside waiting for everyone to come but so last minute he say his friends jio him go play majohg so got no choice but to ps us. actually i was really damm pissed off lei. but i noe that no matter how angry i am also cannot change the fact that he won't be joining us. so in the end i just went to find ling and sl to slack and find something to do for the night. but it was quite a boring night. haiiss. but darren did called quite a few time to ask where are we, who are we with and what we are doing. he seems very apologetic and concern for us. actually at that time, i wasn't that angry le but don't know why i just feel so pissed cause of some hidden reasons. well, i can't guess what the truth la. haiiss. then i did text darren cause i was at that time quite pissed off. but he replied me as in he said to me, i've already apologised to you guys why must we make our friendsip so fragile and why must we give him that kinda fucking attitude. so i replied him that is you that causes our friendship to be so fragile. but still, in the end we both decided not to quarrel over this issue le. but till now he didn't text me nor reply my msg. i feel so lost and confused by the lies which seems to be the truth. haiiss. i don't know what i should do to calm my uneased heart. maybe only he know the truth but not me. haiiss.Labels: the truth i don't know. lies.
