SHE.HER.

today, i didn't go school cause i was not in a mood for baking and stuff. jut want to find a place to allow myself to calm down and not think of any unhappy things. so i went checkup with ling, sl and her mum at sgh. later we all went lunch together at chinatown. my mood was very down so didn't laugh or smile much. but later i decided to meet qin, shortly syl and wei long join in. i pei qin and syl go eat kfc at eastpoint. then we went qin hse to play cards. after that we went ah gong house to play majohg. i and wei long came out with a few stupid rules. like 1st loser got to keep the majohg table and chairs. 2nd loser got to keep the majohg titles. 3rd loser got to clear away the foods and rubbish we left. then the winner get to do nothing and relax. sounds lame but we did enjoy the process. lol. haiiss. another thing that i'm going through recently is, finally, i saw ling walk out of the past, moving ahead, starting afresh. though i'm happy but abit sad at the same time. cause i know sl is wooing her and things seems to be going smoothly for the both of them. but if they are really together then ling will have lesser time to keep me accompany. but i'm truly happy for her cause finally she can be able to find a guy she can rely on. i really wish for her to find her own happiness and i don't want to always cling onto her even if i'm alone most of the time. thhough last time when she always sad and alone, i always go pei her but things don't always work the same. haiiss. life seems to be many ups and downs. soon, she's going to start off a new relationship but as for me, i got to just face it strong. i'm not too sure when will i be able to be like her, having her own happiness but i think only God knows. hahas. qin and wei long, shumin and joey, ling and sl ba, couples. sian. i really feel so helpless. don't know how to help myself to get up from my fall, a fall that hurts till i got no strength to get up. i feel so mixed up, so angry with myself. why do i always hurt myself. maybe i'm a downright fool. can't tell between the truths and lies. maybe cause i'm a liar ba. always tell lies. so is my turn to taste what lies is all about. who knows what is my ending? God knows?

Labels: myself and lies.