Dear grandma you had left me for 709 days already. Times really passed. I do not know why today I cried so badly. I really felt so lost in your eyes. I can’t describe this unbearable pain in my heart. I don’t know where to pick myself up from the falling point. I been through the places where your footsteps had been. Going through all the emotions you been through before. Many a times, I told myself that there no point carry on this way, cause I can’t never had you back in my life. I really felt so lost without you. Ever since you left me, I know that I got to be brave. Do you know I really miss those days you were still with me. I felt the warmth of your hand when I hold you, the sadness in your eyes. Can it be possible for me to hold you once again in my dream? Even if it is going to be just a dream, I will feel contented. I really wished that at times, all that never took place. I know I’m selfish, but love is indeed selfish. I tried to forget you, but I really can’t walk out of the past. The fear of losing you had overwhelmed my courage to face the reality. Will all this come to pass? When I believe in miracle, I know the Lord had already given me more than enough. I’m so blessed that God had given me you. For you once loved me. Those years, whereby, I get to have you everyday, but never truly appreciates and cherish you. Only when you’re gone, the piece inside my heart is missing you. I counted the steps you took when you walk away, the days you left. The clothes you left behind smelled the same. Everything you left behind remained the same. I look upon the heaven and wondered about the stars to see if you’re there. Looking back, I realised that you had always been there, regardless if you’re alive or not. Well. I prayed that all will be fine and that my love for you never change.
Labels: crumbling into fears.
