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MYHONEYWORDS. WRITINGACHAPTEROFLIFE. ♥
Friday, October 5, 2007

I thought she will make it. I know she has been suffering for quite a long period of time. But still I can’t bear to let go of her. She has always been with us through all difficulties. Those times we need her badly, she will be there. But now she gone, I really don’t know what to do. I used to tell myself don’t care what will others say about me. No matter how poor my studies is, I will remind myself that though it is so but my purpose of fighting this life of mine is for the sake of my grandma. Because she is the one who paid for all my educational fees. Without her financial help, I wouldn’t have learned so many things in this world.
I would not even know what is the basic abc. I really want her back in my life. I can’t afford to live without her, is not for the sake of her money. But is for the sake of her precious love she cares upon me and my sister. I do not know my purpose of living now, cause she is gone in my eyes forever. I am afraid to go through this again, because 2 years back, someone who also truly love and cares for me pass away too. They are the only two person in this world who truly love me with their whole heart. I don’t wish to experience this unbearable pain and hurt again.
I knew she was bearing all the suffering in her, and if she will to go to Jesus after her death, it will be a release for her. But as for me and the rest will all feel extremely pain and hurt. I don’t wanna say goodbye to her. Cause, if I say goodbye to her, I will never have the chance to talk to her anymore. I even told myself that I learn how to say a few words of Techow and communicate with her. Yesterday when I heard she pass away, I really can’t believe what I heard. But as confirm by my uncle, at that moment I paused and cried my soul out. I really wish I can immediately run to her and hug her or even just hold her hands. I will feel contented and that I know she can feel my presence with her.
I even planned that I will go to the hospital to visit her straight after school, but then it was all too late already. I regretted not saying thank you and sorry to her. I really want her to be by my side till I grow up as an adult. I thought I could be able to cherish her for a longer time. But time don’t give in. Sorry grandma, I love you forever, I will miss you always. Peace be with you as you leave this world.

The IMPERFECET GIRL ♥

MOMENTS ♥

HER AUDIENCES ♥

THE JUDGES ♥

PAST ♥

RHYTHM ♥