i guess i'm being a foolish gal in tis earth. for i used to tink giving more is better den i recieve more. but now i finally realised tat it was all my stupidily way of illusions. i thot tat by giving in to popl around mii is a blessings to others and doing gd to myself. well, i guess, i was thinking wrongly, i've been giving ore den i can afford le. i alwayss enjoy scraficing myself for others, treating them to diff meals, and buying things for them. i thot i was being generous, kind and friendly.
but i didn't noe tat it doesn't pay gd to be so gd. they took it for granted, not appreciating wad i've done to give them the happiness i can't haf. i feel reali very tired being a super gd gal. i wud rather be a bad gal from now onwards. for wadeva i've done so far, had make mii live life even more miserable. i reali thot being a gd gal can live life better, but never to noe, to my horror, it was never too gd. well, i guess, i was reali super toot, retard to realise tat i've been use of my kindness. i alwayss tell myself not to bother even if they say thank-you or appreciate mii. but it hurts mii alots when i tried so hard to do my part, yet, popl repay mii tis way. i just don noe wad sud i do, to make myself felt in place wid tis world?
how sud i tell myself tat i sud put it all to an end? tis life of game is getting tiring each day pass. popl don see how wonderful or great eu are through ur apperance, they recognise eu by how generous and kind eu can offer to them. they are all fake popl. who oly wan to gain more benefit den to rmrb someone's kindness. i reali don noe why do i live life so torturous? trying to make those popl around mii so blessed, but yet to felt blessed myself? i reali meant to be gd to them, but they took advantage of wad i can afford. to realise tis when things are way too far to mend. i guess, my foolishness haf pass, and all lies haf been discovered. for nothing can hide under de light of a lonely shadow. no matter how hard all lies are trying hide from a fragile heart, is so impossible. there is a saying tat says: once eu sin a lie, eu goto find excuses to round up the next lie of a deciful heart. can't imagine i was a fool for years. gito wake up from nightmare. ending de life tat sud not be in tis manner. for i'm totally lost in de wilderness. tears overflowing. heart bleeding.
